Everything happens for a reason that makes sense, but sometimes when it is happening it may seem odd or confusing.
I had been in the music industry, or perhaps it might be better said that i had been making music in a parallel universe to the music industry for about a decade. Now when you are an "indie" artist, indie being short for independent, you do everything yourself. You write the music, you record the music, you make the album, you promote the album, you book the shows, you promote the shows and you try to get attention from the media, the music fan base and the booking agents. Let's just say i wasn't very good at all of that stuff at one time... i had my moments in each of them and they all have their own separate kettle of fish to navigate... but that is another story for another time.
By this time i was growing tired of trying in vain to gain traction in the music scene... you get frustrated and angry, even jealous towards others that may seem to "get all the breaks"... it is a common theme. I hated wasting time, and I'm a stubborn bugger so my thought was that if i couldn't persuade anybody into covering our collective at Canada Lynx Records then i would damn well do it myself. I was irritated... i thought we were doing some pretty good stuff and none of it was being documented, i also grew skeptical about the integrity of the press in general... obviously i should have just found a good publicist like i did years later and focused on the art, but the switch had been flipped. I also love the idea of press having it's own pets and favoring them... art imitating life is always a good theme in a punk minded rebellion.
The CBC had started this ZED idea... user content driven site, it was a hell of an idea and one they gave up on before it dominated the internet. Bad move CBC. But it was brilliant and it gave me a forum to try something. Now you have to realize that back then it was hard to get music and video on a website... maybe you remember MP3.com where you could have your band site and people could listen to your music... it was revolutionary... then MP3.com folded and all of the energy you put into building up that site was gone... a real theme for the music business. But let's not get too far ahead... my band ROADBED was doing pretty good i terms of people liking the band and coming out to the shows, and getting shows but none of it was being documented as others perhaps were. I was a bad publicist that's my bad, but then Shockk my buddy and partner in ROADBED starts this thing up for a CITR Shindig run where he enters a one man act called Motorcycle Man. CITR is the UBC college radio station and Shindig is the annual battle of the bands competition. Now i knew what Motorcycle Man was going to be and i thought to hell if I'm going to sit back and watch another great moment fall between the cracks and be forgotten about... so i came up with Carl Fatman. That would be me in a very large suit stuffed with a large pillow, a brimmed cap, old ladies sunglasses, large beard and a voice like Super Dave Osborne. I was determined to never admit it was me, and to stay on task, be a gentleman and give a voice to those who weren't being heard... that's what i told myself of course and i believed it... you have to to pull it off. In retrospect i regret the fatman persona, and never choose a voice that will hoarse you if you might need to sing later. These flaws are obvious now, but at the same time i was tired of waiting around trying to get something to happen, i wanted action, i wanted to entertain and i wanted our story told.
So when you are in a bar in a Fatman suit interviewing people about the scene you are trying to create and the people that are on your side walk up to you and call you Super and you look at them like you have never seen them before and introduce yourself as "distinguished Journalist Carl Fatman" sometimes things can get a little awkward... but you have to carry on because you have a job to do. If i was smarter at the time i would have shaved, put on a real nice suit, talked smooth and gone by the name of Dion Hammerwood, or something like that... for some reason i thought the confusion and insanity of Carl Fatman might give me enough cover to get through the looking glass. Remember again as a stubborn frustrated artist, once i start something I'm not backing down because I'm tired of not getting anything done... that's how i felt.
So i covered the Shindig run as Carl Fatman, and Motorcycle man was amazing and in some way i got to interview a lot of the people that would come to see our shows which in some ways helped create a circle of connect. It was kind of neat... come to see a show, and be part of the show... if you had a character you wanted to slip into, that's what i was looking for... we are making a show and we have an act that will carry the load... the end to justify the means. I was happy, there was a little TV show one could watch on the internet (unheard of a few years before) that showcased one of our acts and involved our fan base. The final thing was the greatest thing that i didn't see might happen, but giving people a voice in the process is something i would promote if i were to give a TED talk on the subject (insert smiley face). Being the journalist in the crowd of people that come to see you perform your art is an exercise i would definitely say is worthwhile... perhaps don't do it in a Fatman suit... hindsight is 20/20.
My friends had a band called STOKE which i thought was an amazing band that was getting very little coverage so Carl Fatman set out to cover some of their shows... again i had seen too many great bands fade away with little memories and i was determined to capture what i thought was great. I remember leaving my loft apartment in full Carl Fatman gear, running into my neighbour who looked stunned at me and i greeeted him a good evening in Super Dave Osborne voice and walked off into the night even going so far as denying it was me the next day which helped cultivate an awkward relationship for years to come... you have to do what you have to do for your art right? I didn't set out 10 years ago to be walking out of my apartment in ridiculous disguise as an undercover journalist... i started out to make music and be part of the scene, but the dynamics of the scene forced my hand and i had no choice (in my mind at the time).
On June 19, 2002 Motorcycle Man was booked to play the Purple Onion and i had committed to cover the event as Carl Fatman... I was the Head of Canada Lynx Records and i was damn well going to do what i had to do to help our artists out. Later, on the same night i was offered an opportunity to play some songs (solo) as part of an emerging songwriters showcase. Laird Salton who was a songwriter and promoter believed in me as a songwriter and had me on a bill with some pretty good name artists, on a show that turned out to be a pretty big success. My best move would have been to just play the show with my best rehearsed couple of songs and bailed on the Motorcycle Man show... that's what anybody else would have done... play real good and meet some people and perhaps network a bit. But that is not my style, i had committed to my people, and surly there is a way to do everything. I talked to Laird and asked if i could go first that way Carl Fatman could cover both events and it would be glorious... rather than go and represent myself in the best possible fashion i would go and alienate myself by showing up as Carl Fatman and refusing to acknowledge myself as Super Robertson only to go out on the fire escape to change into my pyjamas before i was set to play so focused on the whole evening i didn't really have my set down and decided on stage to play 2 rather obscure songs "same old song" and "nice bucket". I hung around to catch a few acts, one being Lily Frost who was awesome, and managed to interview her which turned out great, and then blasted down to the Purple Onion to catch the Motorcycle Man show. So in review we have me in my first accepted introduction to a decent artist club showing up in a insane disguise interviewing the crowd and then hopping out a window to the fire escape to put on pyjamas which i thought might throw the heat off the Carl Fartman persona to play 2 songs, one which was half written at the time... i couldn't resist the irony of "the same old song" at a singer songwriter night... my brain doesn't work right some times... and then i fucked off. Not the kind of play a normal person might make in such a situation. In my mind at that time I had to do everything, or nothing would be done, and there is truth in that line of thinking... the problem with too many hats.
So i made it to the Motorcycle man show and covered it taking more awkward vibes trying to "keep it real" for the good of the community so i told myself and in the process interviewed a very large man who at the end of the interview pointed out my stomach and wryly said i was stealing his thunder. I felt bad about that and all of the insanities came down on me... it was a long day and shooting an improv show in 2 bars is a lot of work. By the end of the night i sat at the back of the bar defeated, wondering what the hell i was doing when an old friend and his brother came in to the show that i had told them about a few weeks ago... i was in a Fatman Suit dejected and defeated and not a hell of a lot of good company, which again i felt bad for... i remember his brother saying "do you want a drink" and perhaps i was non committal and then he said "I'm going to go get myself a rye and coke, do you want one" and i said "OK"... i remember feeling shame that people had come out to our show and i was defeated. A bad rule to break, but it's hard being multiple people at once... still no excuse. I pulled one out of the coals at the end of the night when i got to interview Ryan Naso at the end of the night... I had booked Ryan's band "Function" a jazz band to open for ROADBED at the Railway Club in a few weeks and as Carl Fatman i got to ask him about this upcoming show.... he told Carl that he hadn't got a confirmation from ROADBED, to which Carl replied "is it possible you missed a confirmation email" to which he replied.... "well that's a real possibility there Fatman because my email and phone has been down for a while" to which Carl replies "will you be at that show?", to which Ryan replies "you better believe it".... Carl looks at the camera and says "that's good". I got a confirmation documented on tape... as the booker and promoter of this upcoming show, as well as a performer and the interviewer we have something sorted.
It took me a week or so to edit this episode of the Carl Fatman show, as i had a full time job and a band to rehearse with, but i always loved the last line of that one... "that's good"... for me we got something sorted for the future.
